Wednesday, 31 August 2016

Where did I begin? Why do I write? When did it start to matter?

My first story was written in 2002, I was ten and I actually remember it slightly. The setting was something similar to a certain coffee shop, who am I kidding the description  was of the much loved F.R.I.E.N.D.S coffee shop Central Perk just under a different name.

My main character met a man  (like all great stories) I don't remember if they fell in love but my main character had a twin sister who died and that man had something to do with it. WHAT! WHAT? I was ten? I'll have to get my mum to look through some of my stuff I left I'm going to want to read that. I hope my writing has progressed in 14 years.

That was my first memory of writing  than I can remember and I've enjoyed it since, for so long it was just personal, jotting in diaries, creating characters and worlds I had no intention of sharing with anyone.

Writing was always my escape or a form of self healing I used to get things off my mind, I would give characters my problems, my thoughts to ease them off myself. It helped and I even sometimes solved my own problems getting a character through them. Trust me I'm not crazy it's just how I learned to cope through life situations.

I don't use my writing for those reasons anymore as I got older I started having problems that weren't novel worthy because everyone was going through the exact same thing, I wanted to give characters some great obstacle they needed to conquer within themselves and for a lesson to be learned at the end of it all. So the problem like forgetting the toilet paper when shopping or I've put the coco pops in the fridge and the milk is in the cupboard isn't something I'd use unless I was writing my auto-biography.

Writing in the beginning started as a way of escape, creating worlds to disappear into, creating situations and dilemmas so I wouldn't have to deal with my own. It helped me escape my reality to put myself into someone else. That ended when I was 19 when I had just finished my first big story. I was giving characters for the first time their own crap to deal with. All I gave them was life and a world to exist in along with characteristics I saw in those people around me.

I write because I have something to say, because I want to write words that other people might just connect with. I write because I want to touch others with the written word, that sounds super cheesy but I have to be honest and it's true. I want to write the truth. There's just one problem.

Up until 2 years ago I didn't let anyone read my writing well apart from two people so far, although so far I've had good feedback the thought of letting people read my words scares me. That's also one reason I've started posting on here again.

I put everything on paper, I pour myself out between the lines, it's personal even when it's fiction it's all me, so it's daunting to allow people in on it. People who will love it, hate it or critic so much you might as well shred the entire thing and go hide.

There's something I've read 'If there's a story you want to read but haven't read it yet, you write it'.

That's what I'm doing I'm writing the story I've wanted to read, whether anyone would like to read it that's the question. We'll see. I don't want to get to a point in my life where I have all these words written whether they're bad or good and not give them a chance.

Writing has changed my life and this might sound a bit big headed but why should I deny those words that have done so much for me a chance to change someone else's.

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