Sunday, 29 January 2017

Writing My Book! Finally Putting Pen To Paper!

As a few of you may know, I am in the process of writing my first book. It's was an easy decision to make for myself to finally put pen to paper and create a world between the lines.

I love writing fiction, having complete control to create anything I want without having to research facts and have correct information. A genre I love the most, a genre I found out that I loved to write in school was alternative futures, which in a different word can be known as Dystopia. I read 1984 in school and that really changed my writing, having creative control over a world that doesn't exist, that excited me so you can't imagine how eager I was to start writing my own.

2016 was the year I began writing my book and I would say I had roughly 2/3 chapters down that I was happy with, but then Christmas came and I toke some time off and when I looked back on it, picking up those 2/3 chapters I reread them and I hated them. I literally looked own on my words and couldn't fathom what made me write them in the first place. It was just horrible so I was thankful for that time away. I binned it. I threw it away. In the bin those chapters went, those chapters that I had been working on, the beginning of a story I had been brewing up for months was in the bin. Yet now I was lost, what was I doing?

I now had to start fresh and that scared me because it toke me long enough to get to where I was but I couldn't carry on from there, honestly other writers would understand this but those first couple of chapters had no direction, they weren't going anywhere, so I thought throwing them away was the best thing I could've done. It wasn't though and as much as I hate being told how to write in the first place, I listened and he was write. I don't mind saying Nick was right.

So I was sitting there with fresh writing paper in front of me, a blank space with no words to write, I sat there for sometime huffing and puffing expressing my frustration around the room deliberately making a little too much noise for Nick to notice and help me, because I also seem to be to proud to ask for help when needed. I told him I didn't know what to write, I told him I had something but it wasn't right so now I was starting again and I had nothing.

He asked me if I had created a story plan, I was all like 'I don't write story plans' he told me something that went a bit like this 'well maybe that's why it wasn't going somewhere, you had no where for it to go, you didn't plan'  Now my way of writing has always just flowed, I'd never had to write a plan, never needed to, so being told I needed to write one for my story to go somewhere was new to me but I did it. I fished out those chapters I wrote before Christmas because that story I loved and I went and wrote it a plan. I changed a few things for the plan to work but it was all going really well.

I had a plan and I have those first couple of chapters back, I was one happy Zoe. My story had a plan, a direction, so when I take a break or I'm plagued with writers block it won't matter too much because when I go back to it, I know where it's going to go.

I'm looking forward to getting my first draft of my book finished this year and hopefully go into self-publishing by this time next year. 

Tuesday, 24 January 2017

That Blank White Page That Haunts Me!

Writers block! Writers block! Writers block! That evil thing many of us writers are plagued with once or twice, or all damn time in our lives. It's literally like a brick wall has miraculously been built in front of whatever we know of the English language, I have many times found myself sitting in front of that blank page in my notebook or that empty blogger box on my computer screen with nothing to write. I begin to question, if I even know how to write out my own name sometimes. It's extremely frustrating this writers block and I'm constantly finding myself standing in front of that brick wall.

I've many times during writers block actually been able to write but knowing that nothing I have written is any good, I can just write and write and it's dead, there's no life in what I'm writing and it's just no good, this happens to me more so than the complete block, it's that moment when you finish what you've written and you don't believe in it, not one word speaks back to you. I know it's not a complete block but I should be at least happy I'm writing, right?

No. I don't accept writing that I've done that I don't believe. But I don't want to talk about that side of writers block I want to talk about the side I want to conquer, the side that has that brick wall, where you can't write one thing and it happens to me all the time Yet for me there is really only one thing that gets me through this stage.


If I am not able to write about something, if I'm not 100% into it. If every word I write is alien to me, no matter how much I want to write. I step back. I won't open my notebook or blogger for however long it lasts for it to come back. I'll go do something else and sometimes if I'm lucky this will only last 2 hours, and I can deal with it lasting 2 days but then sometimes it lasts longer. My last block lasted 18 days.

I've learned that words can't be forced if there are no words there, it'd be like wringing out a dry towel looking for a drop of water, nothing is going to happen. So I find instead of wasting a lot of time only to be left disappointed, I come away and distract myself from writing, in hopes that at some time it will just hit me. I do that because I know it will come back to me and that I am in no way completely clueless to the written word. So if this happens to you more times than you like it to, just step back, do not force out words that are not there, be patient and it'll come.


Sunday, 22 January 2017

10 Things I Hate About You - Live Blog

Have you ever had those moments when you've realised you haven't blogged anything in a week and a half and get to a point where you're like 'can I even write anything anymore?' Well I got to that stage a couple of days ago, and this was all I wrote, 'I want to write, yet what I want to write about alludes me, I can start on a topic and it turns into pure babble a bit like what I'm doing right now, why? Because I don't know what to write about,' Yes that's where I was a couple of days ago, I could've stayed there, which I nearly did but instead I reached out, I asked a fellow blogger for a little help and it led to a great conversation and an idea. I was going to live blog whilst watching a movie. So I got my ass over on Twitter, picked eight movies and got everyone to vote on them, like you do and you guys voted for 10 Things I Hate About You. So this post isn't thought about at all, I have literally just wrote down, thought after thought whilst watching this film. Enjoy.

10 Things I Hate About You.

'I don't give a damn about my reputation,'

Julie Stiles rolling up in all her moodiness is just the best, turning her nose down at the preppy girls bopping along to some pop crap! I swear I wore that colour of attitude half my life, a little comes out every now and then, and why were there no English school looking like some giant mansion palace thing. Ms, Perky needs serious sedation or a sex anonymous therapy, should she really be running a school. Yes yes, she just said shit! In my whole 5 years of school I don't think I heard one teacher swear.

Awh Heath Ledger......Patrick Verona, that Australian accent though *kangaroo boy*
Ah it's Bernard, shouldn't he be at the North Pole helping Santa, haha!

Oh the cliches in school, if I think about it our school had them and a few as well, we had no coffee addicts, or cow boys or rastas but we had the plastics, the plastics boy team, the drama geeks, the regular geeks, then you had the grunge/goth/emo/weirdo table.....just in case you're wondering that last one is the table I sat on all through school and PROUD!

Did Bianca ever remind anyone of Britney Spears, oh and yes we had those girls, the dimwit girls who I always believed were putting it on for attention.

I have to pause here so we can talk about Kats hair, I feel like I wore that style a lot through school, that pulled back look with the two little strands hanging over your face, just me?
There would be no way I would learn another language for someone I had a crush on, never ever. Anyways I thought the new kid was invisible and was only noticed by chance whenever remembered by the other kids who would volunteer them to do the stuff they don't want to do.

'I know you can be over whelmed, and you can be under whelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?'
'I think you can in Europe.'

WHAT! OMG! REALLY!? These kind of girls still exist and they were around when I was in school, still believe they only did it for show though but I just sat there and laughed.

(I'm hungry, be right back going to make some toast)

The soundtrack to this movie is awesome, that just needs to be said. I wouldn't know what it would be like to be a single mother but what it'll be like to be a single father with two girls. Damn that would be tough. And I would like to live on Planet Loser instead of Planet Look At Me, Look At Me.
Sisters. Sisters. Sisters. I remember having to share a room with my older sister, she was 5 years older than me and we weren't the bestest of friends. It's all good now though. Yay!

Awh Cameron asked her out and yes Bianca it's Cameron, not Curtis, not Calvin. It's CAMERON. Pull head from sphincter then live.

Awh he so dreamy, Heath Ledger another great actor that was taken too soon, I love his hair in this movie by the way.

Bernard you are having a penis drawn on your face.

If someone like Patrick Verona asked me out in school, I would question right away if he was being paid. Then I'd ask if he had a gun to his head, if I walked out of a shop and he was sitting against my car. Every now and then when I see him smile, all I see is The Joker, who is my favourite by the way, Suicides Squads Joker wasn't good. I did not like.

Joey is just the biggest creep, ever.

Was that really a thing about blank panties in the 90's and don't even get me started on Bianca saying how a girls bedroom is very personal, GIRL, YOU ARE IN YOUR SISTERS BEDROOM SNOOPING, RUDE!

I actually love the scene in club skunk, I would still question his motives to asking me out if he was that persistent, and I can't get over that he is wearing shiny maybe sparkly trousers.

Sorry Bogie but Nigel with the Brie isn't's a party.

I've got Toy Story 3 on at the moment for the girls and I'm all over the place, Andy's giving his toys away to Bonnie (OMG the feelings) Zoe get back to the right movie please.

Yay Bianca finally seeing Joey as the douche bag he really is. FINALLY! Were house parties only an American thing? The dancing on the table scene confused me, how drunk did she get to throw away everything she was against and do that, oh and his eyes have a little green in them but then that could've only been the alcohol talking.

He doesn't want your money Joey, he likes her and those feelings are for free,Yay he likes her and we all know she likes him now too. She is clearly in denial though but then so would I be if I threw up in front of him and then tried to kiss him after. But he has a plan and it's a good one, this part of the movie is my favourite.

You're just too good to be true
Yea I'm going there
Can't take my eyes off of you
Zoe stop
Your lips are heaven to touch
oh there's no going back
I want to hold you so much
too late
sing with me people. haha

He got detention and we all know that teacher is going to take that pot and smoke it, right?
She saves him from detention with her boobies, yes I just said boobies. Go Kat! She must really like Patrick to have done that.

I want to go on one of those peddle boat things, they look like so much fun, something even fun though would be Paint Balls, I would do this over the one with the guns any day. How fun does that look though, all that fun between Kat and Patrick all to go down in flames with a light of a cigarette and a request to prom.

Ewww! Kat did it with Joey. I like her way of thinking though after that incident, not doing something just because everyone else was doing it, doing what you want to do for you, no-one else. But you can't go around protecting someone against things only because you've had a bad experience, you need to allow them to experience things and just because you had a bad experience doesn't mean they will.

I would've gone to prom if it was anything like this one. I definitely would if some one that looked like Patrick Verona asked me even after a lot of questioning of course. Thanks Joey, you douche. I hope you get punched in the face and kicked in the balls by a girl, oh wait yea you do, go Bianca!

We're back in Mr Morgans class and Kat is prepared to stand and read her sonnet, I love this scene, mainly because I believe this may have been the first class Patrick has showed up for. So she fights off everything and bares her soul to him and it goes like this -

I hate the way you talk to me,
and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots,
and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right,
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you're not around,
and the fact that you didn't call,
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,
not even close, not even a little bit,
not even at all.

He bought her a guitar, a guitar. Damn. He confessed he fell for her too and that he knew how she got him out of detention.


Tuesday, 10 January 2017

I Entered This Blogging Universe and I'm Surviving........

Now starting out I thought, 'ok lets just write what I want to write about and go from there', little did I know about the entire blogging freaking universe I was about to step into when I created that Twitter account to share my posts.

Damn, what was I getting myself into, there were the beauty bloggers from Venus, obviously. the lifestyle bloggers with their feet safely on planet Earth, then the parenting bloggers who were getting too close to the sun with their little ones. Then there is the fashion bloggers who scare the shizz out of me, I think what they do is amazing but to me, they are the black hole that goes to a different dimension.

Then you have the whole package bloggers who do everything, the ones that jump from one planet, one space entity to another. What was I doing here?

I had my space boots on and enough oxygen for a month to see if I could make it, with hopes one planet would take me in as I practised my 'I come in peace' stance. Blogging was huge on Twitter and I was scared, I followed a whole bunch of bloggers to begin with, thinking if I want to connect with other bloggers well I need to follow them right? Many of these bloggers had over a thousand followers and I was hear thinking none of them are ever even going to like a tweet of mine, let alone follow me back or read my posts or even comment on my blog.

But you see here is what I love about the universe, sometimes, every now and then stars shine brighter than most, some come spiralling down your way and when they hit you, they hit you, they make an impact becoming unable to forget, and I'm freaking pleased that this has happened in my case.

I was happy to have found a place where writing was the thing to do, every one was doing it. I felt safe against judgement and ridicule for what I wrote about. I was sharing my writing with a few like-minded people and it encouraged me to write more, write a little bit better and in general have a wider perspective on writing in general.

Now I'm going to shout out a few bloggers, who I followed in the beginning and I would like to say they have become bloggers, writers and people I have come to respect and admire.


I would say I know Courteney personally from when I was younger and I would go on holiday to my nans home in Norfolk. Courteney's blog was maybe the first blog I'd read before I even said I was going to start blogging again. Reading her posts made me miss writing and I wanted to be doing it again. So really if it wasn't for her blog I may never have put my fingers to keyboards keys again. Her writing made me want to visit the places she went to, made me want to want to eat the food she was reviewing. A wonderful blog.




Now Katie was among the very first bloggers I followed on Twitter and she had over a thousand followers, so I knew she wouldn't follow me back or read any of my blog posts, yet I was wrong. I love her blog so much and her posts are awesome, guaranteed with a little giggle in there also (that might just be me) I now consider her a friend and I'm really happy I didn't let me self-doubt over-rule me by not following her in the first place.

Ramblings Of A Student



Sarah blogs over at See The Stars and once again she was one of the first bloggers I followed. Her posts are awesome, some of them being my favourite posts I've read. I'm also jealous of her photography skills and her hair because it's also awesome, and my hair does nothing but sit nicely in a ponytail. Her love of TV shows makes it easy to love her blog. She is one of those bloggers whose next post you're excited to read.

See The Stars



Now what do I say about Jordanne. She is amazing, her writing whether personal or a review is great. You're really pulled in and another blogger I could like to say I consider her a friends also. She has the cutest little man in her life, so naturally shes a kick-ass mum. She is also one of the first bloggers I followed and had no real hope that she'd follow me back but she did and I'm thankful. She's the best.

The Life Of A Glasgow Girl



I could not leave this list without including this jewel, Shannon. My twitter was full of Gilmore Girl tweets due to her re-watching them before the revival on Netflix. Some of them literally would make my day, or make me think about a character or situation in a complete different way. I love her blog posts and I feel like she can conquer anything. She is one of those people you meet in life and you root for, for everything they do, because they are awesome.



Following the blogs of these ladies have helped my writing and blogging in a way I didn't think it could, simply by being inspired by them and what they do made me want to succeed in my writing. So all I could do now is thank them, starting my 2017 off with sharing a little love and gratitude.


Thursday, 5 January 2017

Why Don't We Jump In Puddles Anymore?

I went for a walk a few days ago to blow the 2016 cobwebs off me down to see the ocean when I saw Mia do something. Every puddle we passed whether they were deep, shallow, big or small, she jumped in them and got so excited it was thrilling to see her so happy and carefree patting her little feet in her wellies splashing the water. I couldn't explain the sheer joy she had in those moments it was amazing and I managed to get some pictures, but I wondered is that why adults are maybe 75% of the time grumpy, bored, miserable and unhappy, is it because we stopped jumping in puddles.

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying all adults are grumpy and to stop that you must jump in puddles, I'm merely stating that maybe some of us have stopped doing those little things that bring us so much joy, for example I remember when I was younger during the six week summer holidays I would sit and count aeroplanes with my notebook and pen tallying how many I'd see during the day. Aeroplanes, the entire day, lounging around looking up into the blue summer sky counting sodding aeroplanes. I still find myself doing it on clear days, if I spot one up there I'll look around to spot others then go about my day, but as I child I would sit for god knows how long putting a line down for every aeroplane I saw, I was actually logging it and I had pages full.

I could have been tallying the amount of times a human blinks in a day or how many times I went to the toilet a day compared to my mother used the toilet in a day. (she drinks a lot of tea, so I think she'd win) I could've been collecting data that would be used as statistics now but nope I counted aeroplanes. Which brings me to this, why don't we do those wondrous, joyful things we did as children, as I watched Mia jumping in the puddles I was a little envious, I wanted to be 2 again and be in a pair of Minnie Mouse wellies with a giant puddle in front of me. I remembered and I missed just sitting there in the summer counting those tiny little aeroplanes.

Sometimes I think it's because we've become adults and we have grew out of our childish ways and to me that's sad and if you think that's sad also then do this, if you see a puddle and you're wearing appropriate footwear just tap your foot in it, please. Or when you're looking up into the sky, take a look find an aeroplane and then look for another.

Is there anything you did as a child you don't do anymore that bought you happiness, please drop a comment, I'd love to know.

Sunday, 1 January 2017

Hello 2017

Before I go into my aspirations, wishes and dreams for this New Year we have entered I would like to just recap my 2016.

I was pregnant entering  2016 and ready to give birth in May, we were so excited, I couldn't wait to add another little baby to our family, I didn't struggle in this pregnancy like I did with Mia so it was a great start to any year. In the Spring during my final trimester I got this wave of energy so whilst Nick was working instead of Mia and I sitting in doing nothing, I got my heavy pregnant arse up and went on beach walks with Mia, she loved it and it made my final trimester fly by.

My waters broke May 6th after watching Gnome and Juliet (long, different story) Robyn entered our world May 7th 2016, it was a sunny Saturday lunch time, we were able to take her home that night which was amazing, we were able to have both our babies at home with us, our little family was completed. The next day my mum stayed for 6 weeks to help us through those earlier stages which was just amazing.

You remember that high 2016 started on and lasted till after Robyn was born, well that high hit rock bottom about a month after Robyn was born, it had been creeping in a little before then but I hated myself, I was tired, I was sleeping twice during the day, I had no energy, I was over weight and I ached. I hated what I was seeing in the mirror and every time I looked down on myself I was repulsed, my Mental Health took a turn and plummeted to an all time low.

I feel incredibly lucky to have a partner like Nick, he was there to pick me up and accept that I wanted this change in myself, I didn't want to be unhappy with myself anymore, I wanted to fully commit to a healthier lifestyle, I wanted to workout and lose weight. We scrapped everything, everything crap, processed and just plain nasty, it was all binned. My weightloss journey had begun and I had the support from all that was around me, and that high that dropped began to rise like a phoenix from the ashes. I was changing, the weight was being lost. I was working out, writing and being with my family all in one day. 'How does she do it?' I hear you ask. I couldn't tell you because I barely do I starter doing as much in my day as I wanted because there is 24 hours in a day. 

Working out and eating the right food gave me energy I thought I could never get and because I was working out and eating well I took better care of myself, took a little bit more pride in myself and appearance and that really made me feel a whole lot better. In the September we went on out first family holiday abroad to France and that was amazing. 

I lost 49 lbs in 2016 from July to end of December, working out and eating better now, don't get me wrong I indulged in a few take-aways here and there but I never let myself regret those, I never made myself feel guilty for wanting a Chinese, because I wanted it, I just worked out hard the next day so that chicken curry wouldn't fully hit my arse.    

So now to 2017 a year I'm entering on another high, and I'm going to keep it high even when my knees feel as they may buckle and my arms start to feel weak, I will keep this high. I won't let it fall because I've seen, I've looked back at what I've achieved and I would be a fool to let myself fall back. 

I always like to make New Years Resolutions, whether I keep them or not I feel like they hold hope and I like hope. One years resolution I made was to become a vegetarian that ended January 1st around lunchtime when I woke to the smell of eggs, sausages and bacon, so that didn't exactly happen. 

My New Years Resolutions for 2017

- Continue on this healthy lifestyle for myself and my family.
- Lose the remaining 4 stone to get to my goal weight.
- Finish the first draft of my book
- Just be happy and be myself

I also want to read more this year and I already 5 books on my list and 1 of them I already read before 2017 but I'll still count it in. My list is so - 

- The Girl on the Train - Read
- Talking As Fast As I Can - Reading
- The Hunger Games
- Catching Fire
- Mockingjay

This list will grow throughout the year, I would also take any book suggestions anyone may have. I love to read and I'm a surprisingly fast reader so it'll be fun to see how many I can cram into one year. 

I would like to end this just recapping Christmas, it was amazing it truly was, my mum joined is this year and stayed up late with me Christmas Eve to wrap the presents I'd forgot to wrap. Christmas Day was great, Mia loved everything she got and so did Robyn although she would've happily sat and ate the wrapping paper if we left her to it, I got beautiful gifts from everyone, Nick got me my book, Supernatural Funko Pop Vinyl figures, a dumbell tree with weights and an ab roller wheel. It's funny because I asked for nearly all of that from Nick and he told me he was getting me something else, so it truly was a complete surprise that caught me crying with joy, and they say men don't listen....haha well sometimes.

I got some really lovely gifts from my mama, including my 'Hello 2017' day to view diary and I received some totally great gifts from my mother and father in law that totally took me by surprise, Christmas Day was just amazing I was able to spend the day with those I love.

Happy New Year guys

2017 is going to kick ass.