Monday, 31 October 2016

Welcome to Helleville - 'Are You Really Ready To Go Home Dorothy'.

Her ankles froze as the water began to rise from beneath her, she was ready to go home, to finally get out of this town. She'd been running for so long trying to get here, she lost Hector a while ago and he stopped communicating through her mind.

She gasped as the water reached her stomach and it started to rise faster, filling up quicker than she'd imagined, looking up to the wells open she only saw a small circle where the sky sat. It was quite high up so as the water hit her chin she estimated just how long she'd be holding her breathe for.

This was it, she was going home, she'd won, she'd finally be free. Her last breathe was taken and held as the water rose up passed her face, she closed her eyes and felt herself go under and she began to think, think about the life she would be going home to, think about the people who would be waiting for her, she smiled and opened her eyes to look up and see how far away the water was from filling when there he was, nose to nose they were. She was supposed to be going home.

"Wakey, Wakey Jennifer, rise and shine,"

Jennifer woke sweating, her forehead dripped from the heat radiating from her, her heart broke as she realised that it was only a dream, her body ached, her soul torn a part as the idea of staying here forever hurt her, she had to escape for herself and for everyone else here that wasn't supposed to be.

Sitting straight up in a flash something clicked, it was everyone else, all the others who came here not dead yet. They would help her, she stood reaching for her boots when she noticed a crowd outside the house she was in, she crashed on the floor ducking at first thinking it may have been the same party that welcomed her. She then noticed Officer Valentine standing at the front, hastily she grabbed her boots and joined them downstairs.

"Oh Jennifer, thank god you're here, we're here to help you,"

"But what about you guys, you don't belong here either,"

"It's too late for all of us now, we've passed on but we figured together we are strong enough to block him."

Her head pounded suddenly bringing her to her knees, his voice ringing through, 'I'm everywhere,' 'You can't leave me,' but this time it was different, it was like it was on repeat, playing over and over again.

She pushed him out, she pushed it and pushed it until the pounding mellowed then disappeared. She was led by Officer Valentine and the group for some time until they got to the forbidden land, where she could see the well at the edge of the town.

"Remember what I told you Jennifer, go now."

She nodded and began to run, this was finally happening, she didn't want to think how easy this all was until her body crashed to the ground. She could hear her name being called over from the group but nothing clearly above the pain in her head. It was him, he was there maybe not physically but he was there, in her mind just like he told her he would be.

Through the pain she used all her strength to keep moving, moving forward, closer and closer she pulled herself to the well, through all the pain that ripped through her, she sighed relieved to fill the cold stone that was the well. Pulling herself up she looked down not able to see the bottom of the well she stood at.

Using all her might she pulled herself up to sit on the edge of the stone wall. She breathed in seeing Hector in the background among the people who helped her here, he looked scared, for the first time he was filled with fear. He knew this was it, she'd won.

And she jumped, beginning her way down falling and falling but no bottom came, no sudden impact was made, she just kept falling, falling until her eyes closed letting the darkness around her consume her.


"Good morning Jennifer, we have been waiting for this along time,"

Her eyes flickered open to white, white walls, white tubes, a white sheet covered her body. She had to be home, her head pounded and she panicked as a reassuring voice calmed her.
"Jennifer, you're ok now. You're home with us, it's mum,"
Tears filled her eyes and fell as she was relieved to be home, she'd made it back. A part of her thought it was all a dream one she was never going to forget. 

Two Weeks Later

Jennifer's rehabilitation back to reality went well, pleasing the doctors as her recovery was smooth. She moved back into her parents house and she was finally happy, she would wake and enjoy breakfast with her parents then get ready and go for her walk in the park with Valentine, her trusty Labrador.

Todays walk was different though, Valentine ran off towards another dogs bark which he'd never done before, when he came in view to her she saw him with another man and his Labrador.

"I'm so sorry sir, he never does this, he is friendly though,"

"That's ok my dear, he is quite alright,"

She froze in fear as the voice sounded a little to close to home, rising from putting the lead onto Valentines collar, she met the face that had been haunting her dreams for weeks.


Saturday, 29 October 2016

Welcome to Helleville - Let's Play a Game - Part 3

Hector loomed over a scared and cold Jennifer who had been locked up in the clock tower. She knew going to Officer Valentines would get her caught but she didn't expect this kind of treatment, he obviously knew there was a way out of this town and he clearly knew how, it felt like she was being tested. Since the night before Jennifer has held her breath a total of 24 times. She was cold, wet and her whole body shook, if she wasn't dead already this certainly would finish the job.

"You knew Miss Jennifer that no-one leaves here, yet you insist on finding a way out and consequently you have found away, I don't like that one bit Jennifer. I thought you would be smarter than that especially after seeing how Officer Valentine is living now,"

Jennifer wanted to speak, needing to tell him he wasn't going to win and break her but with how cold she felt at that moment already broken, in that second she couldn't help but think he had won.

"So now you have nothing to say, you've been so adamant in living and expressing that so vocally, it's strange now that you can not speak,"

He placed his hand on her back forcefully and heat raged through her body, clearing the cold that consumed her. She gasped as her breathe was caught, warmth filled her body as she crashed to the floor unable to stand from the shock in temperature change.

"You can thank me, when you catch your breathe,"

Along with the heat, anger rose up through her, she was angry and wanted nothing more than to destroy Hector, but how do you take out a man who is already dead. She wasn't going to thank him either, that would be the last thing she'd do.

"Come now Jennifer, why would you want to leave this place?"

"Who would want to stay?" Those words spilled with ease lined with her hatred towards him, "I know what you started to do, taking living people on the brink of death, those who could be saved but no you took them for your own amusement,"

"Yes, yes I did and it has been fun but now because of you I doubt it will last unless I succeed and win,"

"Win what?"

"This game I play, this game I will play against you, I knew the not so dead quite yet would try to leave as their bodies are still attached to their living half and they'd want to leave, so I gave them a chance to and no-one got close until Officer Valentine so I stopped the game and to be honest wasn't that interested in playing it anymore but with you I think, I can play one more game,"

The rooms door swung open with a snap of his fingers, Jennifer looked through knowing walking out couldn't be that easy.

"I will give you 3 days Jennifer, 3 whole days to try and escape, if you succeed I will willingly see you go but that won't happen, but if you fail you will be bound to this town for eternity,"

Accepting this challenge she stood in the doorway, she wanted to run her mind was telling her to but her feet were glued to the cold wet concrete, she could feel Hectors eyes fixed on to her and when he started to laugh she turned back to him, confused by his sudden burst of hilarity.

"What's funny?"

"You haven't figured it out yet, have you?" His voice was sinister.

"Figured out what?"

"How you keep having those headaches,"

"I don't understand, I haven't got a headache right now,"

Standing nose to nose this time, he grinned with an evil look in his eyes, " Exactly, remember Jennifer I am every where,"

Before she could confront him she was standing at the steps of the staircase of the house she woke up in, he had transported her back here where she began this experience she still wished was a dream. She knew he knew of everything that was happening in the town but that didn't explain the headaches, that was until she was brought to her knees by a searing pain through her head. Holding her head between her hands she screamed through the ache until it settled to the soft pound she was more prone to.

Those words 'I'm everywhere' rang in her head, repeating themselves over and over again until it dawned on her after one followed with a chuckle. Holding her head once again in her hands she realised and it made her feel ill. She felt sick, violated. He was in her mind, the laughter got louder and the pounding got heavier, through the laughter and pounding she was torn, already bound to this town. Already stuck how was she supposed to leave.

He was every where.

Friday, 28 October 2016

Welcome to Helleville - This Is My Town and You're Here To Stay - Part 2

Jennifer sat stiff with fear as she sat at the head of a banquet table she was escorted to following her arrival, she couldn't have been dead, it was impossible yet searching her mind for any accident or sudden gun shot to the head was tough because she couldn't remember anything. That scared her the most, she couldn't remember anything all she seemed to know was what was in front of her and even that was puzzling.

Hector who welcomed her into this town explained to her how this banquet is a Helleville tradition. It was extravagant and flashy, the long table was covered with all different kinds of food and drink that no-one seemed to be eating, it all looked so delicious but Jennifer couldn't even bring herself to pick up anything. Maybe she was dead?

"Don't you find all this wasteful?"

Jennifer turned to the gentlemen beside her whos head rested between the roast Chicken and mashed potatoes, he didn't respond to her question but as soon as she asked him, she watched Hector click his fingers and that once full with food table disappeared. The towns people around her fell to silent from the heavy conversation and laughter that was before.

Hector rose from his chair holding his hand up towards Jennifer, it almost looked like he was holding an invisible glass of champagne.

"Good afternoon towns people, we are here today to welcome or newest resident, miss Jennifer."

A roar of applause rang through the hall as she sat there so confused, with only more questions than she was getting answers. She wanted to go home, where ever that was for her, she didn't want to be here.

"Jennifer has come to us from a very tragic accident, which thankfully has brought her to us, so Jennifer we are very happy to welcome you to my town where everything you need is only a click away,?

He snapped his fingers and the food that he'd made vanish was back in front of her, the cheering, conversation and laughter commenced, that didn't help the banging in her head at all. She knew it would be pointless asking Hector the questions she wanted answers to so she lean down the the body-less head this time against the bread rolls.

"Excuse me sir, I need your help,"

His arms reached up moving his head slightly to face her as he replied with a yes and a smile.

"Do you know if there's a way out of her, I don't belong here, I need to leave,"

His body straightened clearly his body was made uncomfortable by her question but the same smile still on his face told her it was ok to ask.

"You've got to ask Mr Valentine, he tried once to leave and got really close, find him he might have more answers for you,"

"Where does he live?"

Just as that little head was about to answer, Hector came up behind his body and rested his hand upon his shoulder, a scarred hand that froze a headless body immobile.

"Jennifer dear, I hear you are ask about leaving, I'm sorry but that is impossible, you are meant to be here and you're here to stay,"

Jennifer was shocked, how did he know what she was talking about. Hector was one of those magical beings that could actually see and hear all things. So now with wanting to leave this town, Hectors all seeing eye scared her.

After dark when all that changed was the shade of red in the sky, Jennifer found herself walking along the street in search for Mr Valentine, the one person she learned that wasn't at her welcome banquet, she didn't know where she was going or where he lived but she was being pulled into a direction her body was taking her.

She ended up standing at a gate of a dark house, out of the shadows you assumed it was black but once you step into the darkness you were hit with this vile stench, a stench surprising to Jennifer she was able to walk into.

The moment she knocked on the door the voice of a man called out back from the inside.

"Who's there?"

"Hello, I'm Jennifer, I'm new in town and I would really like to talk to you,"

The door flew open revealing a tall, thin, frail man standing in front of he, he looked worn and tired, he didn't look like anyone else here well maybe not anyone else but her.

Sitting down on the sofa opposite him, Jennifer felt nervous, a little shaky and she was surprised for the first time to feel her palms begin to sweat.

"So how can I help you?"

"You nearly escaped, I need to know how because I'm not supposed to be here,"

"Wow, you do like to get straight to the point,"

"I don't see the point in beating around the bush,"

"Please, Jennifer I will tell you everything but I'll have to be quick,"

He told her how Hector founded this town only for the dead 150 years ago but much to his dismay he learned the dead were pretty boring, so he began plucking people that weren't quite dead yet, the ones floating around in the in between, he began stealing souls.

"I was put on this case 5 years ago looking into strange disappearances that were happening in the area, one night I was struck in the head and I slipped into a coma, in my out of body state Hector enticed me to join him and I ended up here."

"How did you escape then, maybe I can this time,"

"Maybe but the grounds it's on is forbidden now, how long can you hold your breathe for?"

"I don't know I have never tried," The pounding in her head got stronger causing her to hold her head in her hands for a few seconds.

"The grounds are forbidden but there still should be a well there, if you want to escape you need to go to the bottom of the well and let it fill up with water, once it's filled to the top it should flush you right back, well that's the theory,"

As he spoke the banging in her head went from inside her mind to the front door, making them both jump up on to their feet.

"Hello Officer Valentine, I believe you have a visitor,"

"No, no-one here just me," he turned to Jennifer and whispered, "Hide,"

"Hello again Jennifer, I know you're in there, what can Officer Valentine possibly help you with?"
His laugh ran through her veins like ice cold shards, this was going to be impossible Jennifer thought there was no escape,

"Knock, knock, Is anybody home?"

Thursday, 27 October 2016

Welcome to Helleville.

There is a town on Earth where nothing really happens but strange occurrences happen on a daily basis, no-one new moves into the town but new residences appear occasionally. This town isn't your average town at all, no-one sleeps, no-one eats, the time has stood still yet the clock still strikes 12, oh and no-one dies.

Why, I may hear you ask. Well everyone who resides in this town is already dead, this is where the dead go, the ones that don't fit anywhere else, a town among the living unknown to them and unseen to them. This town is a place where no-one comes and no-one goes but it's where everyone ends up.

Every now and then someone will arrive who isn't quite dead yet, it happens more times than the governor would like as it causes a divide with in the town among it's dead. Luckily no-one has left, with the governor making sure of it but some have come close, some really close. It only occurs when the persons living half is at the point where it can go either way and sometimes the pull back is strong enough to pluck you back from this town. That's something the governor will always try to prevent.

Unaware to the governor though was that a resident was to join his town and this resident wasn't only going to cause a divide but rip this town in two. No-one or nothing among the dead was prepared for this towns newest living arrival.

Jennifer arrived on a Wednesday, her eyes flickered open towards a ceiling she was familiar with, this bed she woke in was not her, the wallpaper was seriously outdated and would never go up on her walls. This wasn't her room and going on the red glow streaming in through the window she knew this wasn't anywhere she'd ever been.

Looking out onto the empty street, she looked out towards the clock tower. The entire sky was red and nothing beyond the town was visible, she felt sick but empty inside to actually perform the act.

"Where am I?"

She'd felt as though she'd been sleeping for years, refreshed but the banging in her head made her feel slightly disillusioned, was she dreaming? Had she been drugged? The pound in her head wasn't helped with the sudden knock on the door.

She moved effortlessly across the room and without hesitation made her way to the door, this motion happened so quickly she never really remembered stepping down the stairs. Standing in a strange house in an odd place she found it uncomfortably unsettling that she was willing to open the door to this stranger knocking.

Jennifer froze yet her hands rose up not to open the door but to place both palms against it, when she did a piece of the door disappeared revealing the stranger on the other side. She saw him as his back was facing her, his frame was tall and broad, his hair thick and brown, he looked important but nothing could've prepared her for what she saw when her eyes met his.

She pulled back but her hands remained, she was starring into his red eyes, his face was torn in two one side being perfect the other disfigured and burned, she was looking directly into him but he could not see her. He knocked again this time causing Jennifer to jump back, her mind raced and although her instinct was to go back into the room she woke in and hide, she knew he wasn't going to leave. Her hand shook as her fingers grasped the rounded gold handle, she turned it ever so slowly and pulled the door towards her.

"Well  hello dear, how are you on this fine morning?"

He spoke instantly, all she could muster with a stumble,

"I think I'm lost, can you tell me where I am?"

"Where you are is where you need to be, it's where you were meant to end up, come come let's have a look around,"

He stepped back onto the street and she followed automatically even with her brain telling her not to follow him. They stood there in the middle of the road a couple of feet away from each other.

"Please, I need to get home, I don't know how I got here but I need to get to back now!"

The once empty street suddenly started to stream with people, groups of them walking through the road behind this man standing in front of her now with his arms out stretched by his side. People were coming from their homes but something she wasn't expecting was that all these people were dead ones.

"I don't belong here, I need to get home. Where am I?"

Her voice rose, her anger was visible to all that stood in front of her, smiling, wide mouths grinning glaring at her. The man in front of her stepped a little closer to her bring his arms closer inwards towards her and with a smile spoke.

"My dear, welcome to Helleville, a retirement home for the dead shall we say."

Part Two will be up tomorrow 5:00 pm. Drop a comment if you liked, I would love to know what you all think?

Wednesday, 26 October 2016

This is Halloween. This is Halloween!

'Tis the season to be spooky. 

I've always imagined how great it would be spend Halloween in America, we see it in the movies, every house is decorated as if it was Christmas, the leafs have turned orange and they've fallen covering everything, I'm going on what I've seen in American movies but Halloween there just seems magical and I never thought I would use those two words in the same sentence.

When I was younger we went trick or treating, we dressed up and made Halloweenie treats. I remember making spooky cookies and even tried out these gross looking Hot Dogs 'fingers' that looked bad but tasted good. I remember coming home from school at the beginning of half term knowing Halloween was soon. Disney channel started putting on Halloween Town and the classics were being shown on TV. 

(one year I didn't dress up I just put my hair in a mohawk, took a photo and drew on it)

Moving on, now I'm not a big fan of gruesome scary movies, I like the thrillers full of suspense and the odd death. So I can't watch Saw or any of the other scary films one would watch on Halloween. I once walked in on my mum watching Saw and I couldn't sleep, I stayed up all night watching musicals, and once I watched the beginning of A Nightmare on Elm Street and 5 minutes in I had to turn it off and watch The Princess Diaries. It's a struggle but luckily I'm with a man who also is a big scaredy cat.

Here are my go to scary/spooky movies I love to watch this time of year.

Hocus Pocus

Now this film is number one. It's just the greatest Halloween movie ever. I love Bette Midler and I just love this film. 


Michael Keaton is Beetlejuice. I saw this movie when I was quite young and I loved it. It was my sisters DVD so I had to hide the fact I watched it but I fell for this movie so hard. I even went through a Lydia phase throughout school. Come on nothing that beat that dinner scene, it is hilarious.


Ooooh I just adore this film. Casper is one of those movies that are funny, a bit spooky but knows how to hit you in the feelings at the end. That scene at the end where Casper turns human and dances with Kat at her Halloween party, then realising it's the dude from Final Destination.

The Addams Family

I want to be Morticia Addams, she is just amazing. This movie is timeless, I could watch it any time of the year and be happy doing it. It doesn't need to be Halloween to watch this.

Now there's a few scary/spooky movies that I do watch around this time of year and only because I like to give myself a little fright once a year.


Aliens, Mel Gibson, Crop Circles and Joaquin Phoenix. What more do you want. This film really does get me every time and also knows how to give you a kick in the feelings as well.

The Bone Collector

This movie is a little gruesome but I loves it anyway, I can forgive a thriller if it has Denzel Washington and Angelina Jolie in it. 


I think this movie is my favourite out of all thrillers. Halle Berry is incredible and there's a Robert Downey Jnr before Iron Man. There are moments where you sit there wondering WTF, then moments that make you jump out of your pants and into new ones because you made an accident. 

I've just realised these 3 movies all have a nice/happy ending which is most likely why I can watch them over and over again.

This picture is me age I don't remember but I do remember making that witches hat out of a huge box of Frosties, I'm clearly a nice witch I think, I hope. Although that bottom picture is me clearly putting a spell on someone.

Did you go Trick or Treating? Did you dress up for Halloween? What are your favourite spooky films to watch this time of year?

Saturday, 22 October 2016

This One Won't Take Too Long I Promise.

If the title to this post got you here then I've succeeded. Please stay I promise there is substance. I've been planning a lot of things to do on my blog, there's a lot happening in December as I will be attempting Blogmas, I am the least organised person ever so if I pull that off I would be impressed. It might also help me get organised for 2017, I'm not pinning any hopes on that though.

So yes, December will be all Christmas themed I already have around 15 posts completed and drafted so my odds of success is high at the moment. But now seeing as I've got everything planned for December I realised I have sod all planned for November or the end of October which is the month we're currently in. I have baby brain still so my heads in Christmas but my body hasn't had Halloween yet.

Anyways I have created a series called 'My Passions', at the moment I have four titles that will be included but hopefully I will add to it as the time goes on. I have other hobbies beside writing and I didn't just want to put it all in one post because it would be so long and that'll be ridiculous. So that will be up in November and I want to really work on them to be perfect, there will be a few unrelated posts in between them also. That leaves the end of October. 

Now I had this idea a few months ago when I started blogging again and I think it would be really fun for me mainly, if no-one reads it that's cool, as long as I'm writing, right? Starting on the 27th I will be posting a section of a spooky Halloween story I have been writing, each part will end on a cliff hanger and I won't post the next part until the following day. I've been writing this story for a few months now so it isn't like I'm going to be rushing to post it.

So yea that's pretty much it for now, just wanted to update y'all about what will be on my blog in the next couple of months, I'm excited. I didn't think I would get this attached to my blog but it's fun and it has really helped with my process of getting my first draft completed.

Is anyone else attempting Blogmas? Or anyone attempting organisation for the end of 2016?

Wednesday, 19 October 2016

F.R.I.E.N.D.S - Forever There For You!

If you are one of the few that haven't watched Friends or don't know what it is, please comment the location of the rock you've been living under so I can roll it off a cliff for you.

It's strange to say Friends had a big impact on me when I was 2 years old when it was first aired on TV, and I was 13 when it finished. So it shouldn't have really been such a big thing but it was and it still is. I'll admit if I'm feeling down or have nothing to watch I will just stream an episode of one of my favourites and with in 20 minutes I'm feeling a lot better.

I think personally I have watched Friends over and over again too many times, but there's something about it that draws you in. You laugh at the same things because no matter how many times you've seen it, it's still funny. You tear up and the same moments because those scenes still touch us the same as it did the first time, because it's timeless. The stories, the characters are still so relatable it's a joy to relive them over and over again.

I have a long list of favourite episodes but because I can't just say I love them all, goodbye. I have compiled a small list of some of my favourite episodes from my big list of favourite episodes.

The One with the Prom Video

This episode is awesome, with Ross still trying to get Rachel but she's like no. Until Monica gets a box of stuff from her parents which holds a video tape of their prom. We then see how Ross was going to stand in as Rachel prom date as hers flaked and as he was coming down the stairs, it's revealed her date did turn up and he's left devastated. We all know what happened next, it makes a huge smile appear on my face every time.

The One in Vegas, Part 1&2

This episode might be one that makes me laugh a lot every time. In part 1 there's another Monica, Chandler and Richard triangle, Joey finds his hand twin, Ross and Rachel look into the physical act of love. Then in part 2 Monica and Chandler make up and leave it in the hands of the dice to see if they should get married and Ross and Rachel do get married.

The One Where Everyone Finds Out

This episode literally just for this moment, I love Ross and when he does this it's hilarious every time. I also love that moment when Phoebe is seducing Chandler it's the best.

The One with the Embryos

This is maybe my favourite out of all, I love the game they play for the apartment and the getting rid of Chick and Rooster and I love the moment Phoebe reveals she's pregnant to her brother and his wife and he screams 'my sisters going to have my baby."

The One with the Rumour

This episode is hilarious but I'm really only there for Brad Pitt.

The Last One - Part 1&2

I hate this episode as well as love it. I hate it because this was it, it was all over but I loved it because it was Friends and at the end they all stayed together. Well Joey went to Hollywood but that's ok.

I love how Monica and Chandler got there babies and the big moment where we also was asking the TV whether Rachel got off the plane, Phoebe with all the unfinished songs and the possibility of knowing her and Mike could go on to having their own family and it not being a family of rats.

In this episode we said goodbye to the Friends. Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross and Joey, we also said goodbye to Central Perk, Gunther and the Foosball table, and although it's been over 10 years since that last one, they are always there for who ever wants to relive those moments. 

Can I go and watch them now? PIVOT!

Can you choose your favourite episodes?

Sunday, 16 October 2016

My Weight-loss Journey! Part Two

If someone told me 5 months ago that I would be 3 stone and 8 pounds lighter now I would honestly laugh in their face and tell them to do something very rude to them self. 5 months ago I was in a bad place and I'll admit that I pop in that place every now and then but I march right back out when I realise what I've accomplished already.

5 months later and 3 stone, 8 pounds lighter, I wouldn't of believed I've done it as well. I've come a long way, myself 5 months ago and myself now are the same person but now they have many differences.

I had so many worries and I stressed when starting this journey that I'd have to eat rabbit food to lose the weight but it wasn't like that at all, thanks to Pinterest I found so many healthy meal recipes, that are literally so good you forget they're healthy.  They're too good to not be bad. There were some recipes I'd found we didn't like but I've got at least a handful of recipes that we have again and again because they are delicious. Just take a look at some of the things we've been eating.

I've never been full of confidence and even at my lightest I had issues with my look/body image, but now I feel my confidence growing. I'm actually able to take selfies and progress pictures now which I wouldn't of been able to do 5 months ago when I would shy away from the camera and hid behind someone. 

This journey I'm on I've realised that in the last couple of weeks I'm not on it by myself. I'm not on this journey alone, I'm doing it with all the people I love, I have the support of my man, Nick who I'm contiguously forgetting is by my side on this journey. It's hard to remember you're not alone especially if you haven't lost any weight one week or you've binged on crap for a couple of days, I get down and I feel more alone than ever but I have to keep telling myself I'm not by myself and I have an amazing support system around me.

So far I have lost 3 stone 8 pounds and I am still 4 stone from my goal. It's going to take time and it's going to be really hard, I will sweat, I will cry, I will ache from exercise I'll think is designed to just hurt me but I will do this because not only do I believe in myself, when I have those days I feel like Jabba the Hutt, I have people around me that believe in me. I am not alone, I'm not on this by myself. 

I have the support, encouragement and love along with my own motivation to do this, that is all I need to know I can do this.

Here is my first weight-loss journey post check it out here. I will be writing another update in December, it will be Christmas themed and hopefully I'll stay on track and won't be filled with Mince Pies.


My Weight-loss Journey! Part Two

If someone told me 5 months ago that I would be 3 stone and 8 pounds lighter now I would honestly laugh in their face and tell them to do something very rude to them self. 5 months ago I was in a bad place and I'll admit that I pop in that place every now and then but I march right back out when I realise what I've accomplished already.

5 months later and 3 stone, 8 pounds lighter, I wouldn't of believed I've done it as well. I've come a long way, myself 5 months ago and myself now are the same person but now they have many differences.

I had so many worries and I stressed when starting this journey that I'd have to eat rabbit food to lose the weight but it wasn't like that at all, thanks to Pinterest I found so many healthy meal recipes, that are literally so good you forget they're healthy.  They're too good to not be bad. There were some recipes I'd found we didn't like but I've got at least a handful of recipes that we have again and again because they are delicious. Just take a look at some of the things we've been eating.

I've never been full of confidence and even at my lightest I had issues with my look/body image, but now I feel my confidence growing. I'm actually able to take selfies and progress pictures now which I wouldn't of been able to do 5 months ago when I would shy away from the camera and hid behind someone. 

This journey I'm on I've realised that in the last couple of weeks I'm not on it by myself. I'm not on this journey alone, I'm doing it with all the people I love, I have the support of my man, Nick who I'm contiguously forgetting is by my side on this journey. It's hard to remember you're not alone especially if you haven't lost any weight one week or you've binged on crap for a couple of days, I get down and I feel more alone than ever but I have to keep telling myself I'm not by myself and I have an amazing support system around me.

So far I have lost 3 stone 8 pounds and I am still 4 stone from my goal. It's going to take time and it's going to be really hard, I will sweat, I will cry, I will ache from exercise I'll think is designed to just hurt me but I will do this because not only do I believe in myself, when I have those days I feel like Jabba the Hutt, I have people around me that believe in me. I am not alone, I'm not on this by myself. 

I have the support, encouragement and love along with my own motivation to do this, that is all I need to know I can do this.

Here is my first weight-loss journey post check it out here. I will be writing another update in December, it will be Christmas themed and hopefully I'll stay on track and won't be filled with Mince Pies.


Monday, 10 October 2016

Getting To Know Me - Q&A

I get it must be difficult for a reader to get to know a blogger by just reading there blog posts, you'd have to read all posts and connect little things just to figure out who they are on a more personal level. I understand the anonymity for some bloggers works for them, that's great but for those who want to get to know other bloggers and their readers a little bit better, I think doing one of these is a good thing, because I don't think I'm come across a blogger with an essay size 'About Me' page.

I have here compiled 19 question I will answer as honestly and personally as possible.

My Full Name

Zoe Belinda Michele Jackson


10th April 1992

Relationship Status

I am engaged to my man Nick. I am a fiance, it has a nice ring to it. HAHA! Get it.


I have two children. Two little girls, Mia is 2 years old and Robyn is 5 months old. They are amazing, it is becoming a pleasure watching them grow.

Do you have any Tattoos?

I only have three tattoos, I waited until I was 18 as my mum wanted me to be sure because I wanted a tattoo at 12. My first is of the word 'Fire' it is my element, I didn't want to get my d.o.b or star sign like everyone else seemed to have got, so I went for this. My second is of an old style microphone with script and the words 'I Walk The Line'. This is inspired by Johnny Cash and the biographical movie created Walk The Line in 2005. My third is of an anchor with a Rose behind it with words 'Strength & Courage' written. 
All my tattoos mean something to me, they are reminders that I am strong enough to do the things I want in life and that all I need is courage and the fire in my belly to walk any line put out in front of me.

How do you start your day?

I have two alarms and neither one is electronic. My first is Mia and my second is Robyn. Some mornings and only some do I not get woken by them because I've woken early early and I can't go back to sleep. Some mornings Mia wakes me which is nearly all mornings and every now and then Robyn will wake me. Once they are awake and have been fed and changed I feed myself. I start my day with a coffee and a yummy bowl of Granola with Greek Yogurt.

Do you collect anything?

Yes, everything not really but yes, I like to keep the things that were significant to me at the time. Cinema tickets during the period of time Nick and I were dating, train tickets, concert tickets, show tickets, tokens from amusements, hospital tags, umbilical cord clips (don't freak, they have been sterilised).
So yea, I like to keep little things from different points in my life that I want to remember. I did use to store them in an old envelope until I found the perfect journal to put them all in.

Hardest thing you've ever done?

Giving birth, like for real it was so hard. I've had to go through some tough things in life but nothing could have mental and physically prepared me for this. This thing I could only describe as hell. I wished and I prayed that I'd be one of those women that are left feeling empowered by it but nope, not me. Labour hurts, I did manage to do it with only gas and air but there's a point if you're not lucky when you think it's never going to end and then when it does you'll need stitches down there and won't be able to sit on your tush for a few weeks. Fun times.
The outcome of it all is beautiful, I wouldn't change them for the world but if the labour process would've been made a little easier for me I wouldn't be planning how to get my own back on them in later years. (Remember they are currently my alarm clocks)

   What is you favourite Ice Cream flavour?

Mint Chocolate Chip. There is no other, I'm not a lover of ice cream in general so I have to really be in the mood for it and if you're going to do it, do it right what the flavour you love.

Your best feature.

A few months ago I would tell you nothing, I hate myself and so forth but now because I've been on this self-love/weightloss journey I would have to say my eyes. I like them.

What hobbies do you have?

Apart from my obvious love for writing, I love to read. I also love to draw, I have been drawing nearly as long as I've been writing. I dabble a bit in watercolour painting I mostly paint the night sky because it's pretty.

My Education.

I went school like most. I then did 3 years of college studying Art & Design and Graphic Design which I loved. 

Your favourite TV show?

I have a list of TV shows I love to watch occasionally over and over again, but I do have a favourite one I have watched from the very beginning and one that's season opener will be on this month. I love Supernatural it is the greatest.

Your favourite top 5 songs.

If I could Dream - Elvis Presley
One Moment in Time - Whitney Houston
There You'll Be - Faith Evans
Firework - Katy Perry
Measure of a Man - Elton John

(Yes mum Elton John is in here)

What makes you happy?

My family, Nick, our two girls. Sunsets make me happy, exercise is up there with that and so is Pizza. Pizza makes me happy.

A quote you live by?

'Seize The Day' I love these 3 little words. It's simple it's straight to the point and you can not misinterpret it ever. 

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

I originally would say I'll take whatever Wolverine has, but then I'd have to live forever and I don't think I'd be able to watch all my family grow old and pass on, with me left behind. So I change it to invisibility, I would get away with so much and stalk so many celebrities. 

What Inspires you?

Life. Life inspires me, watching my children grow, watching the people around me live. I'm inspired by others doing well. My man inspires me. Everything inspires me to be better, to do better and to live to the fullest I can live.

Someone you've always wanted to meet?

Fictional - Sherlock Holmes
Real Life - Jennifer Aniston
Not Alive - Elvis Presley

So there it is, some of me. If anyone wants to know more or to do this themselves I would love to read them. Lets get to know each other.


Saturday, 8 October 2016

If I drink coffee like a Gilmore, Read as much as a Gilmore, Can I be a Gilmore?

'So it's a show?' 'It's a lifestyle,' 'It's a religion.' - Dean, Rory & Lorelai

Gilmore Girls

I love this show and I feel confident to say I join a thousand others and more in this love, it's one of those TV shows that would go in the category Timeless.

'Mom, you've given me everything I need.' - Rory 

It's funny, sweet, heartbreaking. It's tender, it's crazy, even angry inducing. It makes you feel with the characters, you laugh with them, you cry along side them, you get mad with them but above all you love them. When I think about it there's not one character I hate, well maybe one.

'Everything's magical when it snows,' - Lorelai

We have watched Rory grow through school and university, whilst she read countless books. We have witnessed Lorelai fight to be true to herself when it comes to her parents, job and relationships.

'I cannot do this alone, I need my mommy and I don't care who knows it.' - Rory

I first watched Gilmore Girls when I was living at home with just my mum and they were being played on 5 star I think, two on everyday around 5. It didn't even take one advert break to be hooked on this show luckily I remember it starting from season one, so we didn't miss much at all. So we made a point to be there on the couch with a cuppa and watch Gilmore Girls together. We did watch them all and it was fun. It was mother and daughter spending a couple of hours a day together watching a TV show that captured the lives revolving around a mother and daughter.

'This thing we're doing here, You, Me, I'm In, I'm all in.' - Luke

We were rooting for Lorelai and Luke from the very beginning, anyone who wasn't is clearly sick. We had all the same hopes and encouragement for Rory like everyone else around her. We beat on our own drum along side Lane as she blossomed into an independent young woman. We cheered to Sookie and Jacksons growing love and family and finally we were torn between the parenting ways of Richard and Emily Gilmore. 

'I wanna be good, life's just not letting me.' - Jess

We learned first loves will always be important to us. We will sometimes fall for the bad boy and that it's ok to take a step back and have a break. We learned no matter your circumstances you must always follow your dreams and ambitions. We learned we have to be true to ourselves no matter how our friends or family want us to be, and we learned Coffee, Coffee, Coffee, oh I lost my train of thought. Coffee. Hahaha!

'People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute.' - Logan

Yes, I was watching Gilmore Girls whilst writing this spontaneous post which nearly never happened, thank god for Netflix, right? 

Nick and I have re watched all seasons now I think at least twice, one time I was pregnant and I could do what ever I wanted. I think again I join a thousand others and more in the excitement for Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life which will be released on Netflix on 25th November. So excited. I will not be missing that. So I will end here pulling myself away from Netflix to watch an episode.


Did you want to be a Gilmore Girl, just for one day?

Friday, 7 October 2016

Our Day Out


On Wednesday Mia, Robyn and I went into town then down to the beach (at the beginning of October?) Yes. We did and it was lovely. Nick had to get the car MOT done so he couldn't be with us but out of the two it seemed better to take the girls out instead of two babies in a garage. 

This day was lovely, the sun was shining and when out from behind the clouds it was really warm which was nice, I had to have been an idiot not to have taken full advantage of such a beautiful day.

We did have a little accident in the form of Mia and the front wheel of her buggy, yes it flew off. Thankfully a very nice lady stopped and helped hold the buggy as I re-attached it. (Thanks Mia for slowly undoing it) We stopped in Poundland got some bits and then Superdrug and got some more bits, I also got more help from a very nice staff member concerning my eyeliner needs.

We got our lunch and headed down to the beach. One of my favourite walks is the one from Penzance to Marazion along the cycle path, although we didn't get all the way over to Marazion, as it was extremely windy we stopped a quarter of the way, had our lunch on the beach, and Mia and I walked down to the sea. She loves to play in the sand/stones. I'm so glad she loves the beach because I loved it growing up, it is the best place.

Despite the wind Mia and I even managed to make one of these.

So now to the items I bought on Wednesday, it's strange because now as I'm a parent whenever I have a little bit of money I never really buy myself anything. I'd think about it. I'd wonder if I really need it and when I'll use it then I'd see something for the girls and without hesitation buy it. Wednesday was different I actually bought myself some things. One thing was for the flat but that's for Halloween.

The Pumpkin Tea Light Candle Holder - Poundland

I saw this as the lady was putting them out on the shelf and asked nicely for one, I maybe shouldn't have asked for the one she'd literally just placed on the shelf though she looked rather annoyed. Anyways this is so cute and after purchase I even dropped it roughly 3 times, so the quality is good.

Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula, Lip Balm - Superdrug

This is the only lip balm that protects me from the harsh cold of winter, which likes to dry, crack and blister my lips. I had been searching for years for a lip balm that would save me in these months and last year I did. It also smells amazing.

Ariel, The Little Mermaid Pocket Mirror - Poundland

This was just too cute not to buy, I love Disney and The Little Mermaid is in my Top 10 favourite Disney films also I needed a little mirror to have on hand at all times.

Owl Pendant Necklace - Poundland

I saw this as also a bit Halloweenie, I was torn between two this one and one with a carousel pendant. Both were super cute.

Take A Brow Eyebrow Pencil - Poundland

For years I had shaved/plucked my eyebrows to little lines and only recently have I started to let them grow to get my natural shape, I love them now but there's a section where my eyebrow goes really light and it looks like I shaved it like the kids in the early 2000's did because they thought they were cool. So now I have to fill them and this pencil has always worked.

Extreme 24 Hour Felt Tip Liner - Superdrug

I always used to wear the gel eyeliner but I run out and Mia ruined my brush so I had to resort to the liquid liner, which really made my eyes pop but I didn't like how dark it looked. I found this felt tip liner and I love it. It's so easy to apply and it doesn't stand out as much as the liquid one which I love.

Overall we had a lovely day out and I can't wait to put a candle in that little pumpkin. Days out are so much fun.


Wednesday, 5 October 2016

So I watched Dirty 30 at 24 and I loved it.

On the LOL counter this film has 12 solid LOL moments.

I wanted to watch this movie the moment it was released but I was in France so I had to wait. Having been watching Mamrie Hart, Grace Helbig and Hannah Hart on YouTube for a number of years now and being brought to tears by their funny videos, I knew I had to watch this movie also I loved Camp Takota.

I must state first of all that I am 24 years old, engaged and I've created two bubba girls, I don't relate to this film as much as a single 29 year old would. Much love to all out there.


The movie starts off with Mamrie Harts character Kate who is on a blind date with someone and it's going beyond terrible, he doesn't look like how he does from his profile picture, so I'm presuming they met on Tinder or some other dating site. Basically he isn't who he made out he was on his profile and he goes GOTH on the weekends. Then the worst thing ever happens when your on a date, her ex-boyfriend enters with his new girl. She slides under the table and army crawls out, same way I would have gone to.

We then see Kate at home calling around confirming and arranging get-togethers that she attends on a weekly basis and everyone's busy, some can't make it, some have had other things pop up, I even bet some told a lie to get out of it. So she calls her two best friends from high school who with out a doubt are knocking down her door in no time.
Evie (Grace Helbig) rummaging through her friends post as you do, comes across a letter from their old high school, inside said letter is another letter from 16 year old Kate to 30 year old Kate, and as Evie starts to read Kate suddenly realises all 16 year old Kate expected of her hasn't actually happened. Kate's down, this is hitting hard. We learn Kate will be soon turning 30 and Evie would love to throw her a birthday bash but Kate refuses, and everyone goes on their way.

After a run in with Ashley (the mean girl from school) and some terrible flashbacks to her disaster date, Kate gives in and lets Evie throw her a 30th birthday party, a very elegant, small gathering.

Evie is married to an over-achieving lawyer man-child, with the worst in-laws a person could be blessed with who clearly expect someone of Evie she's just not. She's not happy anyone can see that a mile off. The party is on the same weekend of her husbands celebratory ski weekend for a promotion he received, on the day of party and the departure for all the skiing she calls Charlie (Hannah Hart) or actually gets Charlie to call her where she starts to fake a story of a bald alpaca that's gone missing and it's urgent she stay and help find him. Maybe my favourite thing, Hannah Harts face that clueless is the best.

If I ever needed to make a fake phone call to get out of something I would be aspiring to that one or at least make an on par attempt.

'Partee Thme' 

The parties location is in the house of Evie's mother and father in-laws, we learn a few more things, Charlie is super competitive after having a few alcoholic beverages and she hiding along with her lovely lady that they are engaged. Flula is DJ so you know this party is banging. Kate skeet shoots her panties, yes I said that. It happened.
There's a little section when Kate tells Evie and Charlie she's still thinking about that letter, nothing is happening like it was supposed to, she's turning 30 and what's there to show for it. Evie reveals in her letter she said she'd be married to Justin Timberlake (we all did) and that she will be Oscar nominated by 30 so it shouldn't be a big deal.

I have practiced that speech for an Academy Award, for any award, I was nominated and I won, I win every time and my acceptance speech kills it, there's a standing ovation, tears. Don't judge me!

She finally gets in the groove of the 'partee' when Dan arrives which she is too happy about and heebie jeebies is a thing, it's in Madagascar Dan. They both love White Russians. Who would have Phunked it? There's a scene, the milk has run out so Dan goes to the store and crosses paths with an drunk Ashley about to drive home, he being a gentlemen drives her but guess who's watching from the banister, yes Kate watches Dan leave with Ashley.  'Maybe she thought wrong, maybe he didn't like her.'
If only she knew HIS GOING TO GET MORE MILK!

GOTH on the weekend shows up with his younger brother who's crushing on the popular girl from school, he invited her to the party but she turns up with the quarter back boyfriend, they end up playing Chess together. So cute.

Kate's getting drunk, there was a creepy scene between Evie and Ben, I don't really know what to say about that, Charlie is drunk and is competing in games with Peter which makes her fiance leave the party. Kate makes a drunk phone call to an ex who is now married with a baby. Charlie punches a 19 and a half year old in the face to the ground and Evie freaks out kicking all children at the party out.
One thing that was on Kates letter, is for that Ashley Driscoll can eat shit.
So the 3 ladies, Kate, Evie and Charlie go to Ashleys house and TP her garden, toilet paper everywhere, literally and Dan hasn't even dropped Ashley off yet, you can kinda see where this is going but not quite.

Grace Helbig in this scene was amazing, her character Evie is telling the girls how she hates her husband and how she wants a divorce, she cries and I joined her. I wasn't expecting tears like that in this film but it was a nice moment. Charlie reveals she's engaged. Everyone's happy then Kate needs to pee. As she's mid flow Dan pulls up with a drunk Ashley snogging the face off this homeless guy she thinks is actually a hipster. It's gross.
Ashley is upset, trips and falls flat on her face, there's a small moment they all think she's dead but no she's very much alive with a broken tooth. A tooth that need immediate extraction by Kate an orthodontists assistant whos fear was always to pull a tooth, now she has no choice, and I think she gets a slight kick over the fact it's a tooth from Ashley Driscolls head. She pulls it, every one celebrates. No joke they all cheer, well not Ashley.

They end up spending the night in the drunk tank, unaware to them Dan called Todd to bail them out, upon their release he is there and he is not happy, all his concerned about is how this makes him look and what it will do to him because IT'S ALL ABOUT TODD! There's a scene after this where Todds parents walk in on GOTH and orthodontist in their bed, but I'll leave that there.

Anyway enough of him, this film ends on a really happy high. it ends with Kate narrating over a scene of herself surrounded by amazing friends, a handsome man and a young child in the form of newly single divorcee Evie, sleeping on her couch. So everything on that list her 16 year old self wrote actually did come true. You Go Girl!

To me this movie sends the message that whatever goals or expectations you made for yourself at 16, it isn't the end of the world if it hasn't happened by the age you wanted it to happen by, because at the end of it all, it may not have gone the way you wanted, or in the order you set for it to be in, you've got to remember that your life is awesome and to stop worrying and stressing that something isn't happening straight away. It will happen, it might not happen the way you want it to happen but you just have to enjoy the moment, and have fun doing what you love to do, even if it's not what other people like to do, do it it's yours. Things do work out in their own funny way, so whether you're turning 16, 21, 25 or 30 just enjoy the moment you're in and have fun in an awesome life you've been given. Do what makes you happy and what you want in life will happen right before your eyes, before you can stop and take it all in.

That's how life works, it's a little messy, it throws things at us we don't feel like we're ready for but we've just got to straighten our horns and go at it head first.


Monday, 3 October 2016

My Top 10 Favourite Disney Movies

I love Disney.

Three little words I like to use from time to time.

I wanted to do a Top 5 favourite Disney movies but I love equally both the animation and live-action motion pictures, so instead of 5 I've compiled my Top 10, 5 animated and 5 live-action. I feel that's the fairest way to do things. Here we go

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

You can not go wrong with the first, the classic Snow White, she may not be my favourite Disney princess yet this film I do have a huge soft spot for and I LOVE Dopey.


I love Hercules and it's strange because I know so many people who strongly dislike this film, I love the muses, Hades is one of my favourite villains and you can't not get all soppy when he trades in all her worked for at the end for Meg.


This is my favourite Disney princess, I love this lady maybe not so much the legendary woman warrior it's based on but definitely the animated Mulan we watch kick butt. Mushu is amazing if I ever need protection I hope the Great Stone Dragon stays asleep and Mushu arrives.


As I write this post this film is on in my home and I hear the voices of Nick and Judy all the time, in the form of plush dolls we got her for her birthday. Yes, she's obsessed but I love this film anyway, it has a strong message about stereotypes and assumptions that I think are great.

The Little Mermaid

This Disney film is the only one I know all the words to all the songs. Actually I'll rephrase that because I pretty much know a lot of them but this one in particular might be the only one I would sing along out loud to. Whether I'm belting out badly Part of your World of I'm screeching Kiss the Girl, I'm singing. 

The Princess Diaries

I was 10 when this film was released and I went from wanting to go to Hogwarts to wanting a secret grandmother to come out of the wood works and tell me I was royalty, anyone else? I still get excited to sit down and watch this film when it's on.


I love the book, which we was made to read in school and the film is great. Shia Labeouf is one of my favourite actors. This film also made me wish we had a no good, dirty rotten, pig stealing great great grandfather. Just me?

National Treasure

A bit of American history, Disney and Nicolas Cage, can not go wrong in my eyes, along with number 2 I love this film and furious Netflix has removed them.

The Pacifier

Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel. That's all. Ooh and Robert, Rays brother in Everybody Loves Raymond, his hilarious in this and then we have Lorelai Gilmore moonlighting as a principle. All over funny, feel good movie.

Pirates of the Caribbean

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes for all 4 and a little yea for number 5. These films are amazing, I love the stories, the characters. One of my favourite box sets movies. Yo Ho a Pirates Life for me

With so much love out there for Disney I would love to hear your favourites.